Bonnier_WHITEE-readers and tablet MIDs are the new black. Eric Schmidt says they’ll be our new best friends by 2015, making internet consumption an orgasmic joy. But by now we all know about the strange fate that befell the Pad of Crunches. So, we’ve got 5 years to go from absurd FUBAR to utopian ecstasy and the team at bonnier_rd isn’t wasting any time. They sent their office overseer, Sara Öhrvall, to San Francisco yesterday where she will surely meet, work, and learn about lots of fancy new media things that are getting born there. She will, however, need to keep her eyes on the prize: a Bonnier Media Empire Tablet E-Reader. A media company with an “R&D” department is one of the perks of having a national media monopoly that is itself part of a regional oligopoly. But it is precisely Bonnier’s many content and distribution tentacles that make the prospect of it’s own e-reader so appealing. But as we learned this week, when you yourself know nothing about tech manufacturing, it tends to blow up in your face. Is the Bonnier Media Empire Tablet E-Reader™ a lawsuit waiting to happen? Or will it be the must have item for Swedish Christmas 2010?

The real answer is probably neither. That the Bonnier empire is destined to have a tastefully designed device that delivers high click through to Expressen and TV4 advertisers, helps SF bio customers stream movies, and Bonnier Publishing customers read, gulp, actual books is certain. Just as certain is that it will be overpriced and high on the novelty factor, but ultimately unnecessary. It will be the next Spotify premium, ubiquitous in Östermalm and non-existent everywhere else.