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It used to be hip to be a DJ, after that it was hip to be a yoga instructor – nowadays it is hip to make an app. My friends have a million ideas on what apps I need. Tech boys talk about making apps hoping they will get rich. The startup world is not different in that sense.

At every startup event, summit or conference I see demo stands that promise me a better life through apps. For only one Euro and five minutes of my time life will be better, much better – NO – it will be EPIC. A promise that sounds so great because I only have to download this software on my phone and I don’t need to do ANYTHING!

According to these apps there is a lot that I forget and a lot that I should do. If I would install ALL of these apps I would need to quit my job otherwise I would be fired because the never ending ‘pinging’, ‘ponging’ and vibrating of the ‘push notifications’.

All of the 5 minutes per app that I would spend combined would be a ‘nine to five’ job: Don’t forget to feed your fish in that Zen garden app! Are you happy today? You need to take your vitamins! You have not talked to Bob today! Water your plants! What is your goal of the day? There is a toilet near you! Today you will find the love of your life! Are you standing up straight?

Apps that save me money, apps that make me run faster, apps that tell me I am out of milk, apps that help me find toilets, apps that give me the thoughts of the virgin Marry, apps that call cars, apps that help me sleep, apps that turn water into wine, make me fly, tell me the meaning of life, apps, APPS…

You know what this is? This is the new ‘home shopping channel’ trying to sell you shit that you do not need.

Remember? Mike: ‘This patented cleaning abs fire-resistant device YOU need! It’s AMAZING!!

In only FIVE MINUTES and ONE DOLLAR, you don’t need to do ANYTHING. Just like the home shopping channel these products they sit collecting dust on your mobile device.

Really, what’s the difference?

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